The invisible racism:

This has been running through my mind for awhile. Compounded by separate, yet relevant issues. It's bugging me.

I had an incident recently with someone not believing me when I mentioned that some people, especially in our town, had been vile and disgusting towards me or others because we're Native. They were incredulous that it would happen in this town. But honestly, whether it's out right racism, disgust, or degradation, it is absolutely still here. It's still frustrating, infuriating, and incredibly sad.

Every year that I'm alive I learn more and more pieces of Juneau's intricate history. It is mind blowing, at times, to realize how close we still are to the atrocities that have happened here. Especially when it is put in contrast to the current attitudes and mindsets of our own community.

I found it almost offensive that I had to defend my statement that I had in fact felt prejudiced behaviors from people in our own community. What?! How can someone that wasn't even there tell me what my experience was, or tell me that it wasn't awful? Not only that, but how can anyone believe it doesn't exist here when I have had such a running collection of jaw dropping moments of incredulous remarks, behaviors and events.

It got my gears grinding.

One of the most remarkable things I could recall, in recent years, was when I had to attend a home buying informational class. Two people, that I knew by name, essentially lead the way in breaking open one of the most horrifying and snowballing experiences I've witnessed in my adult life. I was one of only a few Native people in attendance that day and to be fair, the educator leading the class kept remarking how great the loan program was if you qualified for the Native loan programs, "better pull out your family albums... if you don't have it already, get your BIA card... remember that Cherokee grandma? Better bring that up when signing the papers!" Which, with every poorly chosen attempt at humor, the people in attendance grew more and more vocal about their disgust that "the Natives have it so good". One by one, more and more remarks percolated out of others in the room. Then, when it was time for the educator to take questions, the people that I knew (and who knew for certain that I was Native), raised their hands and out fell the beginning statements that made me broil with frustration. "That's so unfair! Just because they're Native, they can just show up and get a better deal on a home loan, than I can? That's so wrong. I do what I'm supposed to. I went to school. I got a degree. I worked my butt off to be educated and do what I'm supposed to do as a decent human being, and all they have to do is walk in and be Native and get a better deal than I do?!" Then up shot the hand of the other person, and out fell an even more hideous statement, about paying taxes, and whatever. Basically the two had way too much of their republican showing and it wasn't pretty, but the ugliness had only just begun as the others in attendance felt like it was their green light to join in on the degradation. I sat in complete silence, not because I condoned it, or accepted it, but rather because I was so horrified at the pandora's box of ignorance that had just busted wide open in front of me, officiated by an employee of an agency that oversees housing, cheered on by two people that know me, and joined in by the rest of the group. All the while my eyes burned holes in the backs of their heads as I lost every last grain of respect for the humans they exposed themselves to be; and me, sitting in silence knowing that one of the two had previously bragged quite profusely that the state had forgiven their student loan. Oh, but a forgiven student loan is apparently a thankless gesture if a home loan isn't whittled down, also. Which, this was my train of thought on their disgust:
I'm sorry- we're less than 50% of the 2% of the Native population ...out of the world population. Did you catch that? We're less than 1% of the world population, and at that we're not even 50% of the population in our own homeland! We're not even 30% of the state population- we're a staggering 15%. Maybe. If that. And of that 15%, not everyone is out there, qualifying for this program, looking to buy a $400k house- like the ones these two were constantly remarking that they wouldn't get one any lower than that price. Not only that, it's not "free money". It's a LOAN program. The money is given, but at a price that has to be paid back. It's not a grant. It's not an inheritance. It's a loan. Generally, people that qualify for the loan program, are looking for a home that is less than $300k and an even greater majority only qualify for less than $200k, so if you're going to be pissy about "what a great deal the Natives are getting", then please take it- but with the lower income, the ignorant remarks, and the other troubles heaped on top of it.

In another instance, someone undermined the efforts of language revitalization of the Tlingit language. "Why? It's not like anyone speaks it, and it won't be of any economical use. It's a waste of money to keep a program going." My heart broke a little at that, but I couldn't quite define why. It kept echoing in my thoughts. Why did that hurt so bad? Then I remembered all of the times when non-Natives asked if I spoke "my language", and I answered no. Then how they basically discounted my culture, and wrote me off as "not so Native after all". 

I'm less Native, because I don't speak my language? That's when the history hit me. 

Our language isn't commonplace any longer, not because we didn't care. It's diminished because we weren't allowed to speak it. Our grandparents and parents were placed in schools where their language was not allowed. They were made to feel shamed for not speaking in English. Our language was, and is our culture. So when someone writes off our "level of Native-ness" because we don't speak a language, it's the product of historical racism, and forced assimilation. My lack of language is because, and I hate to say this because it hurts even more, but it is painful at times when you ask people of the generation prior, about words and language- but they don't know the answer. Which for them, some have admitted that they feel shame for not having learned, and why would you want to open a wound like that? They are the ones that saw the transition from prolific, fluent speakers, to what we have today. They are the ones that were subjected to so much shame and injustice, and carry those wounds- whether realized or not. Some carry pain for not having learned it from their parents and grandparents. 

It's not like a language for people from other countries. They have a home they can go back to where there are fluent speakers. They can find communities with fluent speakers and find many resources to revitalize their connection to the language. Unfortunately, not only was our language solely a spoken one (previously), but there is not a place we can go back to in order to learn or reconnect in a daily, colloquial way. My lack of language does not define my level, my status of being Native. Rather it speaks volumes of the success of historical racism and forced assimilation. That's why it hurts.

Still, others stand here, in this community and still incredulously wonder why we think there is still racism, when to them it doesn't exist. But it does.

Does anyone wonder why there aren't any long houses on the historical registry of homes? 

Does anyone wonder why I can't place a home, in my mind, that is a Native owned home on the historical registry? 

I've been sitting here for days, recalling all of the homes on the historical registry in Juneau, and Douglas and nearly every single one is a non-Native home. 

In recent weeks I've heard and seen people boasting about their family's historical house, and how long their family has been here, and how great that is because they're family was such a key piece in the history of our town... while completely turning a blind eye to the fact that not only are there not any historically notable Native homes, but there aren't any historically notable Native families. I think back and try to peel back history, restoring Juneau and Douglas to what it used to be. Is it surprising that the prolifically Native areas of homes are completely void of any homes, yet the ones that remain, the ones deemed historical, are still there? And were owned by non-Native families?
Savikko Park, Douglas Harbor, the State Office Building, Centennial Hall, all of those areas were once Native homes and neighborhoods. But clearly, none of them stand there today except a small, dilapidated few near the Andrew Hope building. In a way, my grandfather was lucky. His home, the state enforced eminent domain, and gave him about $2k before they forced him out of his home and off his land- where the State Office building's parking lot now sits. Which, even then the writing was basically on the wall. He and the others had their home there, and suddenly, the white families came in and built their homes right over the lands of the Native families, situating the homes in a way that made it difficult for the Native families to even get to their houses- which eventually their homes were only accessible by alleys and situated in the back. My grandfather's home even lost the driveway because the people built their houses in such a way that the house was no longer accessible by car. But again, he was lucky to have been offered the $2k he had been, unlike the people of Douglas Island. They just came home one day and everything was gone. So even though $2k was an insulting amount of money for an entire home... at least he knew he was losing his home and at least he had a chunk of change in exchange.
After I learned this part of my family's history, I spoke with some others about their childhood homes. They too had lived in the area, and not everyone was given a sum of money, some were just forced out. Many shoved into trailers at the foot of the bridge where the Dept. of Labor and Fish and Game, even the city now resides. 

Is that how we ended up where we are now? These people had land, they had homes, they had an asset and equity. Which was ripped from beneath them, their assets stripped from their ownership and left barren. An act, which today, would and has sunk an entire economy. You take away real estate of an entire community, erasing the only tangible equity they have, and two generations wonder why there are so many low income families from that demographic. Then compound that issue by creating low-income housing, that is not ownership available, but rather a rental only situation, continuing the cycle of diminished equity. Then mock these people for being low income. That's great. "Affordable Housing" at what cost? Putting an entire population of people on a hamster wheel of always being below the mark.

I could go on, but that. I'll let that sit here for now. No, racism doesn't exist, but neither do long houses, historical Native homes, our language barely does, and the home loans for Native qualifying families proves that we have it so good.

Standing up against self-proclaimed leaders:

I’m still learning our cultural ways as we go. I’ve had another big lesson in the midst of Celebration.

Not that long ago someone brought an article to my attention, by Nahaan, aka Vaughn Eide. You can see the article for yourself here:http://lastrealindians.com/tlingit-code-talkers-coin-by-na…/

In short, Eide disrespected Native Veterans, stating that Native Veterans are not heroes, rather they are “sell out terrorists”.

Many that heard about this article, and found great offense by it, are not aware that he has other writing degrading Native Veterans. Another quote from his ranting: “…veterans who fought on the side of the oppressor should not be placed above or honored…”. In essence saying that Native Veterans are traitors of their culture and people.

If you’re wondering why this is so important, or why it is so offensive, please let me share with you what I know of our culture, and the history that surrounds all of this.

The Tlingit culture was, until this century, solely a spoken language culture. One of the most important things to our culture is the power of the spoken word. A spoken word can never go away. Once something has been said, it can’t be taken back, it can’t be reversed.

Another important factor, to this matter, is the Tlingit name. Names are given as a gesture of honor. Typically a name is received to honor a family member that has passed. There is nothing random about the naming process. They are carefully chosen and once named, the recipient is meant to uphold the honor of that name. The name belongs to the ancestors, and the family that it is attached to, not just the recipient.

Between these two traditions, there is a very important lesson that our people used to understand explicitly. That our words are to be chosen carefully, and wisely so that we maintain the honor of our family and ancestors.

This article was published on a national level. This article called out any and every Native Veteran as a traitor, terrorist, and a sellout. That none of them can be honored.

Here’s some important history on the name Nahaan. This name was previously given to Austin Brown. Austin Brown was the brother of Vaughn Eide’s grandmother, who gave Vaughn the name. Austin Brown was a widely respected man in South East Alaska. Austin Brown was also an Army Veteran, who spent many years boxing for the US Army.

Something tells me that Vaughn wouldn’t have had the guts to say this type of thing around his namesake.

For those that were not aware, things quickly came to a head during Celebration. The veterans’ group had all become aware of the article, and that Vaughn was holding a symposium at the State Museum.
They had come to a unified decision to make a peaceful statement at his presentation. During his presentation, the veterans stood up and turned their back to him. In the Tlingit culture this is known as shunning. It is not taken lightly, it is a harsh punishment.

The family of Vaughn had also become aware of what was stirring and it was made clear to Vaughn that he must make an apology to the veterans before Celebration was over, and before he could return home.

Toward the end of Celebration, the veterans’ group was the last to perform at the second hall before the grand exit. They instead used their time to allow an opportunity for Vaughn to apologize directly. They had also used the time to perform a peace ceremony, an incredibly rare, incredibly special ceremony. From people with whom I’ve spoken, the peace ceremony may not have been performed since 1965, it is that rare, and reserved for only the most intense and justified times, which speaks to the level of which these veterans feel about Vaughn’s words.

During this time, Florentino Barril (one of the veterans), spoke out first as the leader of the group. He explained why this was being done, and what lead up to this moment. He explained that in shunning Vaughn, by turning their backs, his words would now float aimlessly as if he is not there. He shared that after speaking with Vaughn’s family, they felt great shame over this incident, and that they wanted a chance to rectify the situation. Florentino confirmed that they would graciously offer them the chance, that it was owed and deserved. He continued on, that our AK Native people have served in every war time since WWI, that the wounds the veterans carry are deep. That suicide is incredibly high in the AK Native Veteran population. That they have paid their dues in order for Vaughn, and everyone else to be here for Celebration, today. The crowd erupted in thanks, many calling out gunalcheesh. The microphone was then handed over to Ozzie Sheakley.

Ozzie was there to present the Tlingit Code Talker Medal of Honor. He shared with us that every Native Group that participated in the war, was sent a similar medal, and that because of our participation we shortened the war. That none of the code was broken.

Later Paul Marks spoke. For a time he spoke directly to Vaughn about the importance of our words. Then the microphone was handed over to Vaughn’s aunt, who was given permission by the clan leader to speak on behalf of the clan house, the Keet Gooshi Hit. John Katzeek, the clan leader, was not able to be there. She shared that the family did not condone Vaughn’s words or ideas against veterans, and that they wanted to come to a resolution. The microphone was then handed off to Vaughn.

This entire time, the veterans stood with their backs to Vaughn. He stood at the foot of the stage, microphone in hand, and spoke in Tlingit to a very solemn crowd of veterans that didn’t face him. Eventually he spoke in English, starting with, “I never wrote any words to hurt anybody”.

Let’s revisit that quote:

"...but since we've been taught that indigenous people who fight on behalf of the USA government are honorable heroes instead of sellout terrorists..."

Vaughn then explained that he had nothing but love for these veterans. Next he said, “It’s not my intention to offend anybody with my words. What I invite everyone to do, is to look at the article I wrote, if you haven’t yet, and think about it for awhile. Feel it. Recognize that it’s not my intention to hurt anyone with those words…”.
Well, if that article didn’t do it, then these didn’t help any either:

"...veterans who fought on the side of the oppressor should not be placed above or honored..."

After another stretch of Tlingit speech, Florentino stood before the veterans and in the true manner of an Army Sergeant, he called them to attention, then ordered them to about-face. The veterans followed command with a crisp turn, their faces stern and unfriendly. Most stayed in true service fashion, keeping their gaze afar, others broke stance and disapprovingly glared at Vaughn, and a few scanned the other veterans, awaiting what may or may not pursue. Florentino called out, asking if they accepted the apology, “No, sir!” Florentino paced over to the voice that called out, and asked, “why not?”.
“He never said I’m sorry, sir!” Another veteran called out, “We want to hear it from the man himself!”
Florentino responded, “what do you want to hear?” Yet another veteran called out, “We want to hear I’m sorry from the man that dishonored us, have him say sorry.”

Paul Marks took to the microphone, “…his words [in Tlingit] were, please forgive me for what I said”. An uknown voice muttered aloud, “he needs to say I’m sorry”. Vaughn stepped to the microphone again, facing the veterans: “I said (begins speaking in Tlingit), which means forgive me.”

As an audience member, I was growing disgusted. To me, there seemed to be a tone in his voice that seemed annoyed that he felt like the veterans didn’t understand what he was saying in Tlingit, which, to me was not the case. The fact that the phrase ‘I’m sorry’ didn’t even come from him felt very much like he wasn’t taking ownership of his actions, and that in effect he wanted the forgiveness without assuming responsibility for what he actually said, and what he actually meant.

Another veteran had stepped off the stage and was the first to lobby for acceptance of the apology.
It didn’t go over very well, it didn’t sit well with me, either. Most disdainfully accepted this apology, but let me emphasize that it was disdainfully accepted, and perhaps too hastily considering the brief timeframe left to occupy the space.

There were further remarks and speeches made by a couple of veterans. Vaughn seemed utterly unaffected throughout this whole ordeal, as if the words from the others didn’t seem to permeate him in any way. I kept searching his posture, expression, and voice inflexions for hints of sincerity, or attempts at genuine remediation. To me, I only read a flat line, with a smattering of exasperation to what he perceived as a lack of language skills.

Paul Marks announced that the peace ceremony would be performed, then directly into the exit song. He also explained that while singing the exit song, when singing Hoo Ha, that Austin Hammond had told him while saying those words, he’s touching his wounds; that the soldiers are touching their wounds; but we are healing. Moments later the Peace Ceremony began. The room grew extremely heavy, thick with recognition of the power behind this action. Vaughn still seemed to stand, with little to show for any recognition of the intensity of what was happening.

The exit song began and the veterans danced powerfully and proudly out of the hall. I wasn’t too sure that I had accepted the apology, in fact, I haven’t.

The unfortunate thing is that this man called out an entire nation of Veterans, not just a small group of Veterans.

Furthermore, what hasn’t been said is that there was also talk of “killing his name”. The family wanted it clear to Vaughn, that if he didn’t participate, or extend an apology to the veterans, that his name would be killed. That is how intensely the Tlingit take the power of words. That if someone dishonors their name, and in essence the family and namesake for whom they are named, that name will be removed forever. The ancestors under that name are no longer recognized as such, nor can anyone ever be named in the future. The honor is gone, indefinitely. That is why I can’t, why I’m not ready to accept the apology. To me it didn’t appear that all of this had sunk in. Maybe I’m extreme when it comes to emotions, maybe I’m Technicolor when many others are simply grey scale. However, I just haven’t seen from Vaughn Eide himself the recognition of his own actions.

You might defend him, but it is clear that he has cherry picked his culture and how he pursues it.

He has said in other writings, “…Cherish the day and your dreams, honor the prayers of your ancestors by knowing who they were, thereby knowing who you are, and set the best example you can.”
Let’s think about his ancestor, his namesake. He has also said, “…My english [sic] name is not who I am, nor does it honor my history as an Indigenous person. My Łingít identity is the guiding force in my life…”
Again, your namesake was a veteran, and even if you disagree with the government’s treatment of Natives, it is absolutely possible to honor veterans, while working toward a better future for our people. You don’t need to trash the history, or the legacy of what has already been done in order to improve what lies ahead. Especially when it seems that Vaughn takes for granted the freedom his ancestors, elder, and peers have afforded him. They paid the debt to which he benefits from. Something he seems to forget when writing his hostile words.

Whatever the veterans decide in how to move forward, I support. I just have to say it’s an important matter that shouldn’t go unnoticed since it was Vaughn’s choice to publish a writing at a national level and he has yet to recognize the damage it has done. He has put himself out into the world, proclaiming himself as a leader type, proclaimed himself as an activist, etc., and if that is so, then he needs to set the example and take responsibility for what he has said, and in effect jeopardizing the honor of his ancestors. A bona fide leader, of the Tlingit culture would not be so frivolous with his words, or so lackadaisical in the response. Again, I support whatever means the veterans and leaders decide to pursue this.

#Cele2016
#Celebration2016