Alaskan Leadership needs to vote No on Kavanaugh.

Alaska has been fighting colonization for generations. In two hundred years, colonized society has proven itself not only unsustainable, but successful in exploiting, and depleting resources with no regard for who it impacts, or how devastating it is to the environment. The fabric that weaves us all together is that which lays beneath our feet; the foundation that all life is connected to. The earth, and water. 

This administration has advanced its every iniquitous passion against the land, and against the people of the land since it has been turned over to this administration.

Those leaders include our own. 

Lisa Murkowski, Dan Sullivan, and Don Young. Walker, Mallot, everyone whose work is directly connected to the Hill in Juneau.

We’ve seen appointments of inept leaders, and corrupt, conflict of interests with every step of this administration.

We’ve seen them lie about the truth that happened in the public eye, as if we wouldn’t recognize their falsehoods. Like the kid with chocolate on their face, swearing they have no idea what happened to it. That’s how they operate. This is why they’re a mockery.

Native culture teaches to respect; the ruling belief of Natives is that if you disrespect one in a circle, you disrespect all. 

These leaders believe that they are not disrespecting anyone with their choices; that they’re choosing jobs, money, and prosperity. That they’re creating opportunity.

The truth and validity behind Native culture is that if you disrespect one, you disrespect all. Opening ANWR, pushing to open the Tongass; fighting the roadless rule, appointing Kavanaugh, all of this is disrespect to those of us who live off the land, and that is why their leadership erodes us. 

Even if they don’t appoint Kavanaugh, they have proven where their loyalty lies. With the pockets and greed of capitalism over the pristine frontier that sustains all that upholds the value of Alaska. 

Murkowski, Sullivan, and Young must be clear to the people of Alaska, where their loyalty lies by voting no on Kavanaugh. 

Memorial Day

On this Memorial Day I want to specifically say, Gunalchéesh to all of the Code Talkers that served, especially those who paid with their life.

Our lands were taken by people that didn’t see that we were religious people, already living in a continent founded on religious freedom.

When Pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock, they struggled with food.

So we taught a man to fish; we taught them to grow corn and feed themselves.

When they came to our lands, they became our neighbors; we loved them as we loved ourselves.

“Forgive them father, for they know not what they do”.
Settlers didn’t know all of the protocols Natives followed to uphold peace and avoid conflict.
Yet, despite encroaching on Clan territories, and boundaries, unannounced, and without permission, to take what wasn’t theirs; and yet, we still came to meet, to speak about solutions, to sign agreements... because it was obvious these settlers had no idea what offensive things they did.

So we forgave those offenses in order to attempt to settle disputes.
Attempts to communicate and problem solve were more important than hasty decisions, wars, and disrespect.

They didn’t know that our lives were devoted to the creator, and upholding our way of life- our religion of serving the earth, and yet by fulfilling our religious culture, we also fulfilled their religious teachings.

So when we fulfilled our ancestral traditions of peace and acceptance, we agreed to take on the demands of the new society.
They didn’t treat us equally, or love us equally.
We weren’t their neighbors, we were their burden, their nuisance.
They didn’t allow us the offerings that ensured prosperity.

Yet, even when forced to serve in wars, we stepped up.

Indigenous people have served this country in the highest numbers, per capita, since the Mayflower hit the beaches.

Let it be known that all Indigenous Americans served in the highest numbers, on behalf of their new government, in every major war since WWI.

Our people continually save Americans, with little recognition.

Please see the following commemorative medal coins for all Code Talkers of America, and remember the great sacrifices all our Native people made on behalf of this country.
We lost our best warriors early on, in this manner. Chiefs, warriors, peace makers, shamans... all our best, because they were taught to never give less than their best.

Gunalchéesh

https://catalog.usmint.gov/medals/code-talkers/

Respecting the circle of life:

Tlingit culture was so adamant about being respectful and responsible that their speech even forced abstract thought.

English were destined to misunderstand Tlingits.

If any of Tlingit language is similar to other Native cultures, English were destined to misunderstand us all.

Tlingit language doesn’t follow the English structure.

English speaks in a specific order.
Tlingit language reverses that order, and even position of verbs, nouns, etc.

You can’t translate word by word

Where the English language names things, with identifiers: the red box,
Tlingit language uses metaphors, and indirect ways of describing things. Instead of a red box, it might be something like a hollow container that holds... and change according to the context of the sentence.

Words were interchangeable, speech varied clan to clan...

Their words were never meant to offend, and carefully chosen especially when speaking with people from outside their clan, so as not to offend people of other lands- first because ancestors became one with the land upon death and burial, so speaking ill of the land was as egregious as disrespecting an elder. Second- because offenses needed to be repaid. A clan house could lose their at.oow, their clan house items of inheritance, that held deep ties to their culture, and honor.

Giving and receiving at.oow was a deep act of respect. It was so strongly upheld, that sometimes a clan house would give ALL that they had.

This was not easy for Christians, and especially capitalistic Christians that came to chase the dream of riches to see. Their culture had become entrenched in greed, and ruthless efforts to attain it: Soapy Smith, miners, claim jumpers, the men claimed Christianity and yet upheld a thriving and prosperous sex industry in every town they settled. They couldn’t plainly see the cultural value of this behavior. Giving your sole possessions away was a dangerous idea to them.

Watching Natives hold potlaches where they gave away their life’s possessions was an act they thought was careless.

Settler society had already firmly planted itself in selfishness, greed, and pursuit of being the best, the richest, the most powerful individual.

Whereas Tlingit culture was entirely a socialized society. You were only homeless, hungry, or uncared for if you weren’t respecting your clan, or representing them well. It was customary for Tlingit to only think in terms of the whole... always.

Settler society: mined the best of the earth for the direct benefit of the individual, and their direct descendants.

Native society: mined the best of the individual for the direct benefit of the whole; the earth, the self, the clan, the respect of other clans.

This is why abandoning Native culture has been so detrimental to everyone.

Disrespect one, you disrespect all.

Think about it.

Our respect of the land, respected our bodies, respected our culture.

Eating things not Indigenous to the area broke the respect of self: we weren’t meant to eat colonized food= thus resulting in diabetes, hypertension, etc. etc.


We weren’t meant to work and live indoors: thus we developed ADHD, anxiety, depression, and lost our physical and emotional well being.

Our DNA is altered by our environment- the earth. She gives us the tools to care for her, and live in harmony with her.
Like the Bajau divers- how would they ever replicate the factors that keep them healthy if they didn’t dive daily? How would Natives remain the healthy specimens we were before contact if we weren’t hiking, paddling, and training every day?

Our culture was so careful of upholding balance that its rules self governed against greed, and upsetting balance.

Modern America, and capitalism, ignoring and abandoning Indigenous cultures is the element that ensures our world will not survive.

It is leading everyone into poor health, poor communication, poor respect of self, narcissism, greed, and everything that ensures our planet will die.

Tlingit culture firmly believed in never permanently altering the land.

Deep water horizon, Dakota access pipeline, Fukushima, all industrialization is permanently altering the land- and we are permanently paying the consequences for those mistakes.

—-
Social care was the crux of Native American culture.

It is evident in every aspect of the culture.

American culture is purely narcissistic.
Purely for self.

American government protects copyrights of items, and patents that individuals created, to protect the wealth of the individual developer.

Native culture protects the copyrights of the entire clan that owns the songs, stories, and lessons of the clan, to protect the enrichment of the whole clan. To not muddle the lessons and historical importance contained in their art and culture, because those were derived from the experiences of individual clans, and were their lessons to learn, and then teach for the prosperity of all.

Americans praise individual singers.

Natives perform as one- one group, singing in unison, drumming in unison, experiencing the lessons and importance of a song, dance, story together.

Americans buy homes for themselves.
Natives live in communal homes.

It could go on, but it’s not necessary.

It is obvious to see that the colonized system is the toxic system that breaks unity, and divides.
It removes humans from the circle of life, placing them above and separate from animals, etc. Which is why industrial farming is toxic. They enslaved and colonized their food systems, removing all the richness and value of wild, free animals:
Corn/wheat/grain fed animals are not healthy to eat, or their dairy.
White flour
White sugar
Pearled barley
White rice
Instant oatmeal
Farmed fish
Corn syrup ...

Once our food has been colonized, our bodies follow suit, and the devastation of colonization takes over our health.

Disrespect of the food, disrespects our bodies and therefore health.

Colonized systems promote greed, lack of empathy, lack of respect, and places the success of the individual over the success of the entire circle of life.

Who cares if we deplete the oceans?
Natives.

Who cares if we destroy forests?
Natives.

Who cares if we extinct animals and people?
Natives.

Who cares if we permanently destroy ecosystems?
Natives.

Who cares if we disrespect the system that upholds our entire being?
Natives.

We were designed to protect the earth, and all  the children she births on her lands.
Anyone that disrespects that, suffers the consequences.


#DefendTheSacred
#Decolonize

Settlers came here for religious freedom... that Native America already established:

People have asked me how I feel about Natives that have accepted Christianity, and Natives that promote Christianity...

Here’s what I have to say now, that I’ve done some research.

Old, turn of the century publications said things like “Natives appropriated specific aspects of colonized cultures” ...

First, they incorrectly used the term appropriate, since there was no choice for us, except to assimilate. Second- the reality was that Tlingit culture IS A RELIGION. Tlingits took on aspects of colonized culture to improve theirs. They believed that under the new societal changes, that their best chance at survival, and prosperity for their people was to embrace the “new” world. 

For 5,000 years our ancestors developed a religious culture that taught every aspect of survival and unity in the environment of the time. When colonization started, they thought their best bet would be to leave the old culture that was now a hindrance to success, and accept the new culture to uphold the survival and future of our people since resistance at the time was met with aggression.

Natives gave up their religion to preserve their future. They thought it was their only option.

I don’t see this as offensive.

I think it’s predatory of a colonizing culture, to see people that are merely unfamiliar, and deem them inferior because they lack written word, books, they don’t go to church, they don’t have “advanced things”- so, even though they’ve successfully lived like this, for 5,000 years in what seemed (to settlers), like uninhabitable land, that all of this lack of transportation, buildings, lights, etc. All of that was apparently evidence that we were dumb, godless, unnecessary, and in desperate need of “saving”... from what, I don’t know, since the only thing we currently need to be saved from is the garbage left from colonization. Literally. Figuratively. Metaphorically. 

The Tlingit culture was a religion, and that is a fact, and exactly why it was easy for our ancestors to make the logical choice of accepting the new religion. They thought they were doing the right thing. 💔

—-

Reading again what I just wrote... it’s right there in what I said. 

The whole culture was about upholding the best interests, to protect and uphold háa shagoon, and háa shuka.

Their choices were always about upholding the dignity and respect of our ancestors; our ancestors before, and after us. Protecting the shuka, preserving shagoon, and that’s what honoring past while looking to the future refers to. They honored their past, their culture of what their ancestors taught...

That because the old lesson to uphold unity, and avoid wars, was to accept the best of what newcomers and outliers offered- which was a good plan when those outsiders were just other Natives with the same basic culture. 

Which then became a dangerous practice when two, diametrically opposed cultures met, and one has a level of superiority built in. 

Their choice was based on preservation and honor of their people  before them, in hopes of protecting their future generations. 

They fulfilled their religious cultural beliefs, to full fruition, just to continue life for their people, which is the ultimate sacrifice that could ever be made as a collective effort. 💔

—-

 The Tlingit culture believes that words connect the people communicating.

That the words join the speaker with those listening, no matter the distance. That once connected by words- you are one. 

Tlingit culture held communication, words, and speaking in high esteem. 

If spoken words are your clan’s only way of preserving and teaching 5,000 years of history, lessons, survival, and deeply spiritual meaning, why would one ever speak loosely, or without truth? 

If they knew disrespectful words could cause wars and could endanger our existence, then why would we ever speak without careful consideration? 

Speaking words of disrespect or falsehoods were self inflicted wounds; because words connected those communicating; because they all became one; because speaking and listening created one, shared experience.

It is an echo of their thinking and culture.

To never see things unilaterally. 

To be respectful of all, because disrespecting one in a circle, disrespects all. 

That all things have a balance, and all are considered as they move through life.

It is why their legends have been scientifically proven true.

Ancient shipwrecks unearthed, exactly as legends stated. 

Ancient cities discovered in places we never believed existed. 

Weapons, technologies, sciences, everything.

These people read the mountains and waterways like people of today read clocks.

They knew the seasons and movement of animals and the land.

They didn’t need books because their words were truth, and carefully communicated.

They didn’t need clocks because the sun, moon, and stars told them when to rise, and when to rest. 

They didn’t need calendars because the birds, whales, plants, fish and surroundings told them when it was time. 

They didn’t need government because Mother Earth dominates with final control and approval, so all values had to respect her. Disrespect of the land, meant the end of our existence. 

We didn’t need churches, because our long houses were our churches, and we lived in them. 

How else would one live their religious traditions each and every day? 

Our religion was our way of life, and we lived it with every moment of our days, before contact.

—-

Christianity and Indigenous culture were easily transitioned because both were religions.

The unfortunate devastation is that Christianity had a focus in the wrong places to be truly fulfilling, and attractive to indigenous. 

Every where that colonization touched, and devastated #BIPoC, those communities all suffered the same hallmarks:

Loss of identity 

Loss of self respect 

Loss of status

Loss of hope

Loss of coping capabilities 

Which lead to:

Addiction

Disease

Depression 

Anxiety 

Abuse

And inappropriate behaviors 

Loss of health 

Loss of income, etc.

Why? Because colonization ripped away the practices that taught those people how to avoid those things, and how to care for themselves. The new religion didn’t feel the same. 

Now that the outcomes of capitalism and colonization are starting to negatively impact all of society today, they’re starting to realize their demise is self inflicted.

Their disrespect of the people, disrespected the land, and now they’re paying the consequences of colonization themselves:

Stress 

Anxiety 

Depression 

Disease

Inappropriate behaviors...

Now they’re looking at studies, and results, and how to fix it... 

And guess what? 

The answer is in Indigenous culture.

Respect the land, and she’ll respect you.

Respect the people and the people will respect you.

Disrespect of one, is disrespect of all.

Learn the history of the land you’re on. 

Learn the history of the people that cared for the land for 5,000 years. 

Learn what was important to us.

——

Parallels that made it easy to let go of the old ways, for the new? 

Christianity and Tlingit religion is like two satellites pointed toward the respective creator.

 Christianity: 🌏📡

Indigenous: 📡🌏

Christianity points toward the heavens for absolution at the end of life. 

That the individual relationship with (Creator- the guy in the sky) God was what grants us and fulfills our purpose. 

Whereas Indigenous culture is all pointed at respecting the earth, and environment to ensure our survival.

Tlingit were so careful of respect of others that they did not speak disrespectfully of anything. Not the land, or inanimate objects. They knew the power of their words, and sacredness of the land. 

Why so? Because our ancestors were buried in the land. 

As Tlingit culture believes, they became one.

Speaking disrespectfully of a place, or land was like speaking disrespectfully of your own ancestors, or worse yet, speaking disrespectfully of someone else’s clan- which clans had to pay heavy fines for such disrespect. 

Christianity has all of the same type of basic lessons that Indigenous culture does- rules and traditions. Except that Christianity attached it to an ambiguous being, with intangible factors. Unearthly aspects- things we’ll never attain, physically in this life, but should strive for, to allow our soul to be free... 

to attain atonement.

Whereas Indigenous culture shares all of the same aspects and rules, except all applied to actual, physical, social, and environmental aspects of every day life. Fulfilling our purpose meant respecting the earth, to preserve our people, our way of life. 

If you took all basic Christian and religious texts, and applied them to respecting the earth, and the people of that land, you’d literally have a replica of indigenous culture.

Two satellites, pointed in opposite directions. 

Same purpose. Same intent. 

Different outcomes.

Christianity will never fix what is wrong with the world, because it isn’t directed at respecting what is in this world, on this earth, of this earth. The rules are all there, and respectable, but disconnects us from our true purpose- to respect that we are a part of the whole circle. 

We’re not separate from animals.

We are Raven.

We are Eagle.

Coho died and gave his life for me to exist.

I give my life for coho to exist. 

And this is the love affair we lived for 5,000 years to keep our waters beautiful, our streams pristine, our land untouched, our culture going... until that satellite shifted and we lost our way.

Send your help:

If you've followed any of my posts, and are willing to support efforts of our Native communities, please take a look at this fundraiser.

I looked at the post, it's still active. Also, there is a comment about T&H ensuring that we do more about housing as opposed to pursuing an elective endeavor.

Consider the following:

T&H is a separate entity from THRHA.

CCTHITA is about employment, training, and services for it's members.

THRHA is about housing, affordability and services tied to home ownership and housing costs.

With that said, the Cultural Immersion Park will be a source of income for CCTHITA, and open job opportunities for its members and residents of Juneau, much in the way the Mt. Roberts Tram is a source of income and employment for members of Goldbelt.

To make a donation, please find the GoFundMe here.
**I am not affiliated with this donation page, merely getting the word out that it's available.

Why I'm speaking up:

I'm not sorry if I'm rocking the boat, or being considered as racist or inflammatory.

I'm not.

I'm standing up for myself.
For my ancestors.
For my home.
For my daughter.
For those that have been marginalized.

Yes. I firmly believe in white privilege.
Yes. I know I benefit from my own, lesser known, and less common privilege.
Which is why I'm standing up and no longer remaining silent.

I'm not asking for guilt, or shame.

I'm asking for change.

I'm asking for improvement.

I'm asking for respect.

I love my people.

It is because of the treatment of my people that I understand and will fight alongside all marginalized peope, and classes.
I understand their struggle, pain, and fear.

I will take the hit.

I will go up against the misunderstanding, the disagreement.

I will fight back to bring justice where inequity exists.

If you live in Juneau and can not understand white privilege... please explain to me why we have a statue of a dog, and the ass of miners, and rehabbed a mining pump house, but have no statue of Tlingit elders, no longhouses, and only just put up totems in 2017.

Here is my article I submitted to the empire.
Who knows if it will see the light of day:

Gunalchéesh. Thank you, to Juneau, to the people that have been willing to take an honest look at our history and make compassionate, respectful decisions to help raise up our indigenous people.

I am writing this because I once called out our town for blindness to exclusion and ignorance. I know it’s not over, there is still much work to be done. Not just here, either. However, it’s important for me to recognize what has transpired; in no way do I take direct ownership of spurring some events that have happened over the last year, but it really did put a smile on my face when I realized that the totem raising at Gastineau school happened one year and one day after my last piece was published, which directly called out the lack of totems in Juneau. Thank you to all who made that possible, and all who showed up to honor those who are no longer with us, but deserved this ceremony the most.

Since my last writing was published this town has responded well. What I wanted to bring to light is that I can attest to the fact that the tides are changing and I am grateful.

Not long ago the Tlingit Culture, Language & Literacy (TCLL) program had to be fought for to remain in the school district. Thank you, JSD for keeping TCLL. My daughter has just completed her first year and I nearly can’t handle the bittersweet emotions I feel when I see all of this culture spilling out of her. We attended the totem raising in Glacier Bay as well, and on the boat ride she and a few of her TCLL classmates spontaneously lead all of the singing and drumming on our boat. This may have never happened without the program, most definitely not to the point that she could lead (at the age of 6) an entire group of adults.

Also, on a larger scale, Standing Rock garnered massive support. I want to thank all of the locals that supported the efforts there. It was truly amazing to see such a large scale response to something so important.

With that said, this past year was the 104th annual ANB Grand Camp convention. A lot of hard work was put in and issues highlighted that we need to focus on for growth and improvement. Our indigenous people need greater support and acknowledgement in legislation and state policies. It should be recognized by all that any improvement granted to our people is an improvement for all. When our education, affordable housing, employment, health care and natural resources are protected and available to us, we thrive. Which in turn means that our entire community thrives not only around us, but with us.

The issues we’re making amends with currently, are the results of prior devastations to our community. The pride, confidence, and strength I see in my daughter from her involvement in TCLL is proof that outside support for our people is literally paving the way for a beautiful future for us all.

Your involvement, your enthusiasm, your support has already created a generation that has experienced an incredible amount of Tlingit culture that is proving to be a strong foundation. I can see that some of what had been dampened in our hearts, is already roaring back to life in these children.

Please don’t stop. I promise you are helping to create a beautiful future. You are helping us heal.

I may have never met my paternal grandmother, Bessie Quinto, but I know that with every new Tlingit word my daughter learns, with every beat of our drums, with every moment we get to celebrate our culture, my grandmother and our ancestors are not forgotten and we are making right of so many wrongs made before. I hope that one day Juneau will be home to a great long house. That totems will be outside, that we can celebrate in gratitude, together, with fires on the water like we used to, and that my daughter’s children can one day regularly smell the beautiful cedar, trace their fingers along carvings, and know that it was gifted to them by our community coming together to provide that.

---------
Pt 2

After submitting my latest writing to the empire last night, I fell asleep with dreams of what could be spinning in my head.

What if the next remodel of Centennial hall updated the building to be like a massive long house?

The building that sits near the old village.

The building that is adjacent to a displaced community.

The building that has now been the home of the biannual Celebration of Tlingit, Haida, Tsimshian, Aleut, and other AK Natives; as well as been host to our special guests like the Polynesians and Celtic dancers.

What if they were to come to Juneau and be welcomed in a large community house that reflected the indigenous people here.

If they were to walk past giant totems that flanked the entrances.
If there were sky lights in the ceiling representing smoke holes.
If the lobby had seating areas below those smoke hole sky lights like our long houses used to have for storytelling, celebration, meals, and community gatherings.

What if these details were not limited to just a small, beautiful building such as Walter Soboleff building, but that our entire community had the chance to walk into something like this that celebrates us, and gives hope to our future, as well as great thanks to our ancestors.

What if those walls were great carvings and our children could touch history every time we gathered for Celebration, Folk Fest, conferences and what not?

Why not make this something that isn't just a museum, or relic, or specialty. Rather make it something that is a functional facility to our community that represents the efforts of us all?

--------
Pt 3

Another question as to why it's important to have longhouses and totems back.

As if pointing out that most of our artwork hangs on the wall next to antlers and other things that have been killed isn't enough of an explanation.

As if talking about the displacement of entire villages in Juneau isn't enough.

As if it's not enough to mention that we can't be convinced that colonizers appreciate us when you'd be hard pressed to find a historical totem, let alone a long house here.

As if it's believable that Elizabeth Peratrovich was Juneau's only noteworthy Native leader.

Juneau- even the name ignores our presence.
As if we didn't already have a name for this place.

This is ground zero for the Tlingit and Haida.

You travel to any other country and there are traces and representations of the people from that area.

If you're greek, you can travel back to Greece for a taste of home.

If you're Japanese you can travel there to visit old structures and feel the history.

This is our people's home. Their homeland.

Where can we go to feel our history?

Either no where, or a museum, or this is it.

Buildings that have a few pieces of Tlingit art.

There is nowhere for me to step in and smell the cedar, to smell what used to be.

There is nowhere that represents how we used to be.

Where we once sat and told stories.

Where we learned lessons on caring for our resources- because our care of them, returned the care to us.

Where we ate together as communities.
Where we shared celebrations, and mourned together in times of loss and grief.

Where drums were once the pulse of our people and allowed us centuries of successfully surviving dark and cold winters.

This is our people's home, and it should feel like it.

The invisible racism:

This has been running through my mind for awhile. Compounded by separate, yet relevant issues. It's bugging me.

I had an incident recently with someone not believing me when I mentioned that some people, especially in our town, had been vile and disgusting towards me or others because we're Native. They were incredulous that it would happen in this town. But honestly, whether it's out right racism, disgust, or degradation, it is absolutely still here. It's still frustrating, infuriating, and incredibly sad.

Every year that I'm alive I learn more and more pieces of Juneau's intricate history. It is mind blowing, at times, to realize how close we still are to the atrocities that have happened here. Especially when it is put in contrast to the current attitudes and mindsets of our own community.

I found it almost offensive that I had to defend my statement that I had in fact felt prejudiced behaviors from people in our own community. What?! How can someone that wasn't even there tell me what my experience was, or tell me that it wasn't awful? Not only that, but how can anyone believe it doesn't exist here when I have had such a running collection of jaw dropping moments of incredulous remarks, behaviors and events.

It got my gears grinding.

One of the most remarkable things I could recall, in recent years, was when I had to attend a home buying informational class. Two people, that I knew by name, essentially lead the way in breaking open one of the most horrifying and snowballing experiences I've witnessed in my adult life. I was one of only a few Native people in attendance that day and to be fair, the educator leading the class kept remarking how great the loan program was if you qualified for the Native loan programs, "better pull out your family albums... if you don't have it already, get your BIA card... remember that Cherokee grandma? Better bring that up when signing the papers!" Which, with every poorly chosen attempt at humor, the people in attendance grew more and more vocal about their disgust that "the Natives have it so good". One by one, more and more remarks percolated out of others in the room. Then, when it was time for the educator to take questions, the people that I knew (and who knew for certain that I was Native), raised their hands and out fell the beginning statements that made me broil with frustration. "That's so unfair! Just because they're Native, they can just show up and get a better deal on a home loan, than I can? That's so wrong. I do what I'm supposed to. I went to school. I got a degree. I worked my butt off to be educated and do what I'm supposed to do as a decent human being, and all they have to do is walk in and be Native and get a better deal than I do?!" Then up shot the hand of the other person, and out fell an even more hideous statement, about paying taxes, and whatever. Basically the two had way too much of their republican showing and it wasn't pretty, but the ugliness had only just begun as the others in attendance felt like it was their green light to join in on the degradation. I sat in complete silence, not because I condoned it, or accepted it, but rather because I was so horrified at the pandora's box of ignorance that had just busted wide open in front of me, officiated by an employee of an agency that oversees housing, cheered on by two people that know me, and joined in by the rest of the group. All the while my eyes burned holes in the backs of their heads as I lost every last grain of respect for the humans they exposed themselves to be; and me, sitting in silence knowing that one of the two had previously bragged quite profusely that the state had forgiven their student loan. Oh, but a forgiven student loan is apparently a thankless gesture if a home loan isn't whittled down, also. Which, this was my train of thought on their disgust:
I'm sorry- we're less than 50% of the 2% of the Native population ...out of the world population. Did you catch that? We're less than 1% of the world population, and at that we're not even 50% of the population in our own homeland! We're not even 30% of the state population- we're a staggering 15%. Maybe. If that. And of that 15%, not everyone is out there, qualifying for this program, looking to buy a $400k house- like the ones these two were constantly remarking that they wouldn't get one any lower than that price. Not only that, it's not "free money". It's a LOAN program. The money is given, but at a price that has to be paid back. It's not a grant. It's not an inheritance. It's a loan. Generally, people that qualify for the loan program, are looking for a home that is less than $300k and an even greater majority only qualify for less than $200k, so if you're going to be pissy about "what a great deal the Natives are getting", then please take it- but with the lower income, the ignorant remarks, and the other troubles heaped on top of it.

In another instance, someone undermined the efforts of language revitalization of the Tlingit language. "Why? It's not like anyone speaks it, and it won't be of any economical use. It's a waste of money to keep a program going." My heart broke a little at that, but I couldn't quite define why. It kept echoing in my thoughts. Why did that hurt so bad? Then I remembered all of the times when non-Natives asked if I spoke "my language", and I answered no. Then how they basically discounted my culture, and wrote me off as "not so Native after all". 

I'm less Native, because I don't speak my language? That's when the history hit me. 

Our language isn't commonplace any longer, not because we didn't care. It's diminished because we weren't allowed to speak it. Our grandparents and parents were placed in schools where their language was not allowed. They were made to feel shamed for not speaking in English. Our language was, and is our culture. So when someone writes off our "level of Native-ness" because we don't speak a language, it's the product of historical racism, and forced assimilation. My lack of language is because, and I hate to say this because it hurts even more, but it is painful at times when you ask people of the generation prior, about words and language- but they don't know the answer. Which for them, some have admitted that they feel shame for not having learned, and why would you want to open a wound like that? They are the ones that saw the transition from prolific, fluent speakers, to what we have today. They are the ones that were subjected to so much shame and injustice, and carry those wounds- whether realized or not. Some carry pain for not having learned it from their parents and grandparents. 

It's not like a language for people from other countries. They have a home they can go back to where there are fluent speakers. They can find communities with fluent speakers and find many resources to revitalize their connection to the language. Unfortunately, not only was our language solely a spoken one (previously), but there is not a place we can go back to in order to learn or reconnect in a daily, colloquial way. My lack of language does not define my level, my status of being Native. Rather it speaks volumes of the success of historical racism and forced assimilation. That's why it hurts.

Still, others stand here, in this community and still incredulously wonder why we think there is still racism, when to them it doesn't exist. But it does.

Does anyone wonder why there aren't any long houses on the historical registry of homes? 

Does anyone wonder why I can't place a home, in my mind, that is a Native owned home on the historical registry? 

I've been sitting here for days, recalling all of the homes on the historical registry in Juneau, and Douglas and nearly every single one is a non-Native home. 

In recent weeks I've heard and seen people boasting about their family's historical house, and how long their family has been here, and how great that is because they're family was such a key piece in the history of our town... while completely turning a blind eye to the fact that not only are there not any historically notable Native homes, but there aren't any historically notable Native families. I think back and try to peel back history, restoring Juneau and Douglas to what it used to be. Is it surprising that the prolifically Native areas of homes are completely void of any homes, yet the ones that remain, the ones deemed historical, are still there? And were owned by non-Native families?
Savikko Park, Douglas Harbor, the State Office Building, Centennial Hall, all of those areas were once Native homes and neighborhoods. But clearly, none of them stand there today except a small, dilapidated few near the Andrew Hope building. In a way, my grandfather was lucky. His home, the state enforced eminent domain, and gave him about $2k before they forced him out of his home and off his land- where the State Office building's parking lot now sits. Which, even then the writing was basically on the wall. He and the others had their home there, and suddenly, the white families came in and built their homes right over the lands of the Native families, situating the homes in a way that made it difficult for the Native families to even get to their houses- which eventually their homes were only accessible by alleys and situated in the back. My grandfather's home even lost the driveway because the people built their houses in such a way that the house was no longer accessible by car. But again, he was lucky to have been offered the $2k he had been, unlike the people of Douglas Island. They just came home one day and everything was gone. So even though $2k was an insulting amount of money for an entire home... at least he knew he was losing his home and at least he had a chunk of change in exchange.
After I learned this part of my family's history, I spoke with some others about their childhood homes. They too had lived in the area, and not everyone was given a sum of money, some were just forced out. Many shoved into trailers at the foot of the bridge where the Dept. of Labor and Fish and Game, even the city now resides. 

Is that how we ended up where we are now? These people had land, they had homes, they had an asset and equity. Which was ripped from beneath them, their assets stripped from their ownership and left barren. An act, which today, would and has sunk an entire economy. You take away real estate of an entire community, erasing the only tangible equity they have, and two generations wonder why there are so many low income families from that demographic. Then compound that issue by creating low-income housing, that is not ownership available, but rather a rental only situation, continuing the cycle of diminished equity. Then mock these people for being low income. That's great. "Affordable Housing" at what cost? Putting an entire population of people on a hamster wheel of always being below the mark.

I could go on, but that. I'll let that sit here for now. No, racism doesn't exist, but neither do long houses, historical Native homes, our language barely does, and the home loans for Native qualifying families proves that we have it so good.